Party Animal Shows Off New Way to Enjoy Stuy Town’s Fountain

Is Stuyvesant Town’s gushing centerpiece good for anything besides displaying the grounds crew’s topiary skills? Yes it is! As we’ve learned from reality TV, hot tubs are ground zero for debauched behavior, but what happens when there’s nary a jacuzzi in sight? Here’s a Lux Lixing eyewitness report:

Another fantastic morning here at the Stuyvesant Town Oval. At 7am why a pleasant shirtless fellow enjoyed the fountain by wandering in it while double fisting two bottles of delightful Samuel Adams Summer Brew. He circled the cooling waters twice, glaring at everyone, before returning to his spot on the park bench next to his young lady companion and fondling her breasts. (see attached pic)

Warning: photo letdown! But seriously, what’s with the snitching? Did the Unity Pledge say something about banning second base?

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